'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
