I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
