He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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