Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
