LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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