the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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