check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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