i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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