so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
