I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
