i barfeds in our rink
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
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