We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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