he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
