hell yes lets make some ravioli
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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