I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
