If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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