OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
