I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize