I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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