I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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