If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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