i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
