omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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