i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
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In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything