I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.