that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
