I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
