i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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