how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
