Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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