Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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