oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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