I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
