i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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