She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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