I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
