I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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