There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
