I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
