Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
