i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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