drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
