i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
