im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
