Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Even my vagina gasped.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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