I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
