You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize