Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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