I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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