I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
