i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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