Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
