We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
