There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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