Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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