thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
