Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
