Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
