Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I currently don't understand fingers.
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